Growing up, I had little to no experience with counseling outside of what I saw depicted in film – TV shows or movies. The film Freaky Friday, starring actress Jamie Lee Curtis, was released in the year 2003 and I watched it religiously. In the film, Jamie Lee Curtis is a respected psychologist, who inexplicably switches bodies with her sixteen-year-old daughter. In an effort to manage this conundrum by sending her daughter to work in her place (a problematic at best solution in hindsight), Jamie provides instructions to simply "listen attentively, nod occasionally," and reply to clients with the classic line, “How do you feel about that?” Therapy is then depicted as clients entering her office to vent or sob, then promptly leave only to assumedly return to do the same the following week, presumably forever, without measurable progress or meaningful change.
This theme is certainly not alone in film. Therapists are routinely depicted as unprofessional, unethical, ineffective, or all of the above; typically alternating between (1) stoic mind-readers, (2) boundary-bending friends, or (3) saviors. These portrayals often lead people to assume that unprofessional or ineffective therapy is the norm, and/or that therapy is simply a place to go for an hour each week to talk, similar to how one might talk to a neighbor. What film depictions typically lack, and what I thankfully came to learn, is what true ethical, evidence-based therapy actually entails.
Licensed clinicians are highly educated and trained professionals who utilize a wide range of therapeutic approaches and skills in order to individualize treatment plans for each of their clients. This means different clinicians will have different areas of specialty, and therefore, utilize different modes of treatment with aim to most effectively help their clients meet their goals. This is why someone might go to one therapist and find it to be the wrong fit, but then find a great fit with another – or how a person might have received a certain diagnosis, but experienced little to no progress in the past due to a miss-match in needed treatment versus treatment received – or how two people might go to the same provider and receive vastly different treatment plans.
Importantly, the client's role is critical in the therapeutic process. The client may be asked to participate in treatment by engaging in both in-session and between-session tasks depending on what they might hope to accomplish through therapy. Therapy work can sometimes be challenging in that it may include facing fears or doing things you may have avoided for quite a while. This is where the therapist comes in: By listening, hearing your experiences, noting your goals, creating a plan to help you achieve those goals, and supporting you through any hard parts, you can be set up for success (however that may be defined by you). We should also note sometimes therapy is simply a reliable safe space to vent/process as needed without necessarily needing to be any more specific.
In all, therapy is not just:
- “How does that make you feel?”
Evidence-based therapy includes:
- Learning new information and practicing new skills
- Facing fears or doing things you may have been avoiding
- Building a trusting, professional relationship with your therapist
- Sitting with discomfort or leaning into uncertainty
- A space to be authentic and process the week
- Whatever is the best fit for you
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